Gosh, this one even mystifies me. I met Lamar at Mexican Sugar at 3 pm. Lamar is a big guy, 6’3”, 250 lbs, in pretty good shape. You can tell he is only about 15-lbs overweight and that he does not work out, but he is attractive. Or, at least, I am attracted to him.
I eat, he doesn’t. He had about 3-4 margaritas, I had 2. I usually do not drink on a first meeting but we are hitting it off, laughing, and having a great time. I like to walk after a meal and suggest we go window shopping. This is a great area for this; there is a beautiful fountain at the ½-way point.
A friend (Matt) texts him and we stop to meet him on our way back. Lamar has at least 3 more margaritas, I drink water. Matt goes into a long story about marrying a woman who is already married; dating another girl and buying her a $5,000 purse before they are even intimate – crazy drama stories with no boundaries. So my red flags about Lamar’s drinking are not even close to the one’s going off about Matt.
Yipes, I need to get out of here!
As we walk back, Lamar is calm, attentive, charming, funny, and does not seem intoxicated. But, dang, he had so much to drink. He is a big boy so maybe he can just drink a lot more than me.
Why am I ignoring this? I come from a substance abuse environment and maybe I just feel more comfortable with this “crazy” because I am used to it. I drink socially and do not take drugs.
I am home by 6 pm. Around 8:30 Lamar calls and asks to meet for a drink at a nice place close to my home. I agree and meet him from 9-10. He has 4 vodka tonics while telling me that he met yet other friends for dinner where he had a couple of glasses of wine. But, he missed me and wanted to see me again – HA.
At this point he is just sloppy drunk, all over me, talking/acting inappropriately and I am just handling him. I ask him to text me when he gets home and he precedes to text me several times about how much he wishes I was there. I text him; “Good Night” and turn off my phone.
Every ounce of my being is saying; “RUN!” There is this little bad voice in me saying; “This is the first guy in years that I have been physically attracted to and who has made me laugh”. Life is short. I may see him again to solidify and delete this silliness. Closure is a good thing.