Okay, I know it’s crazy but I gave Lamar another chance. He called and insisted we meet for lunch. I know there is a stable man under that first disastrous meeting. He was very grounded in our conversations through Match and I found his behavior odd to say the least.
In talking with a friend, she reminded me that men are just as nervous and vulnerable as we are. First meetings can be pure torture for them and alcohol can be a crutch to calm the nerves.
At our lunch he was a different man. He said that he would probably not be drinking again for a very long time. I did ask if he drank like that often and he said; “no”. Not sure I believe that. They say the real psychosis comes out within 3 – 6 months.
I do stupid things all the time and certainly believe in second chances.
I have extremely clear boundaries for what I will and will not put up with at this point in my life. Tending to an alcoholic is not something I am willing to do. The whole “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” thing just does not work for me and I would become impatient with it very quickly.
I do enjoy an intelligent man who can make me laugh. This afternoon at lunch, Lamar was that man. I am not sure I would go out with him again, but at least I let him redeem himself. I have a funny feeling that was what this lunch was all about – I just think he felt bad and had to fix it somehow.