Many years ago I met the nicest man, Tom. He seemed well groomed, respectful, and confident. We had talked on the phone several times. He was having a problem with his computer that I was very familiar with. I offered to help him with the issue if I could bring my small dog, Bear.
Bear was 12-pounds and very well trained. I could bring her to work with me and everyone loved her.
Tom and I were just friends but he wanted to take it to the next level. He invited me over to help, so Bear and I were on our way.
Tom lived in duplex. As I was escorted in, I noticed the lighting was very dim. It took a minute for me to adjust my eyes to see. I was shocked! There were 4-5 big plastic bags of trash just sitting around, dishes piled in the sink with crusty food on them, counter top filled with clutter, piles of paper everywhere, and you could tell that he did not own a vacuum.
I asked him to open the sliding glass doors to let Bear out, just in case she had to relieve herself. Bear went outside and sniffed around a bit, came in, and proceeded to “poop” on his carpet. I burst out laughing as I cleaned it up. I explained to him that Bear was so confused because it was actually cleaner outside than in his home.
I was not shy about how filthy it was because it was disgusting. I asked him why there were big bags of trash in the house. Why didn’t he just take them out? Why didn’t he wash his dishes? Why didn’t he vacuum? Why didn’t he hire someone to clean if he had no intention of doing so? How could he live like this?
Did he ever do laundry or clean his sheets? To this he replied; “I had a girlfriend who offered to clean up my place.” I asked if she slept in his bed. He said; “Yes.” I told him he should have married her.
I could never live like that and would feel compelled to clean it up. I would have to become his maid – not in any universe was that going to happen!
I had adopted the rule of “NEVER” being intimate with a man until I see where and how they live. It has served me very well!