So, This Happened

red container

I had a long day at work, it was late, I had to go to the market to get food. 

I pull into the parking lot of the grocery store.  I get an email from a client and decided to read it real quick before entering the store.  I am in my car, windows are open, and I am not really paying attention to my surroundings – shame on me!  I know better.

I hear a man’s voice.  I always park out in the lot close to where you return carts.  It just makes it easier and I like the exercise of walking to the door.

I hear a man’s voice and quickly look up.  He is coming closer to my car, carrying a red gasoline carrier and asking me for $3.  I tell him “No”.  He continues to approach me.  I become very loud and tell him to stop approaching me; “Do not come any closer to me!”  I quickly check to see if my doors are locked and close the windows.  I continue to yell “No!”

I learned in a self-defense class to become loud and draw a lot of attention to yourself when someone is approaching you.  They go the other way and people stop to take note of the situation.

He finally walks past my car, unaffected.  I am not sure if I want to stay in the parking lot.  I fear he may retaliate by damaging my car.  He exits the parking lot on foot and I go in and do my shopping.  I am very careful to look for him as I leave and make sure there are others in the lot when I go back to my car.  Event over, safe from harm.

Okay, you are saying I may have over-reacted.  What if the guy really needed help?

  1. Who carries an empty gas can?
  2. If you think you are that low, go get gas.
  3. $3, really? What is that going to get him?
  4. Always trust your Woman-Sense!

I have a daily goal of doing a random act of kindness.  There was just something wrong with this picture and I did not feel good about it.  I would have done the same thing over again.

6 thoughts on “So, This Happened

  1. You didn’t overreact at all. I am always giving my wife shit because she does not pay attention to her surroundings as carefully as she should. Always be aware of what and who is around you and be proactive in extinguishing any possible threatening situations.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It can happen any time day or night and in seconds something really bad can happen. Parking lots and women alone are a definite target. It didn’t make any sense that he had that red plastic holder – who carries those around? It seemed more like a prop. I am so glad I listened to my woman’s intuition. I will be paying more attention!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hooray for you! Even though you weren’t paying attention during those seconds you were replying to the email or text, you immediately had a plan once the man tried to engage you. Having a plan allowed you to react in a proactive, predetermined manner. I think that’s the smartest thing you can do in this type situation. You can immediately go into “alert” mode because you’ve practiced (if only in your mind or at a self defense class). The people I worry about are the ones who haven’t thought ahead, and “freeze”, no plan, no action, just silence. You are absolutely correct in that no would be attacker wants to approach a screaming, yelling women in a parking lot full of people. $3? red gas can? approaching you alone in your car at night? Well played by you at that moment in time!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Debbie, thank you. There is always this little part of us that wants to help. I promise, it was my woman’s intuition that made me react. We should trust that more often!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I so get this. We are raised to be nice, helpful and empathetic and it’s so hard to break that conditioning. We always worry about hurting people’s feelings. We don’t want to be thought of as a *bitch.* Predators count on that. Love your response. Here’s what I tell myself now: there is something wrong with a man, even if he doesn’t intend harm, if he does not know better than to approach a strange woman, let alone make “requests” of her. A thinking, conscientious man could go to a gas station, ask another man, and so on. Reminding myself that he is not worried about MY feelings helps a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes, it’s that feeling! I know I was right in what I did but it was hard to do. Also, I also called the store manager to alert “him” that there may be a potential predator scam going on in his parking lot. Men don’t get it, I could feel his eye-roll through the phone. Thank God for security cameras – which are only good after the event…..


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