LUST

loves me lm not

Okay, I am a normal woman.  I like to think I am well-balanced and level-headed.  There have been a few times in my life I have seen or met someone where I have a STRONG attraction.  Lust is the only word I can possibly use for this.  Hopefully, all human beings experience it, it is wonderful!

I have joined a new gym and am working out regularly.  There is a man that I am so unbelievably attracted to, it hurts.  I try to sneak peaks at him but find myself just following him everywhere with my eyes.  He is beautiful, graceful, and strong.  Hopefully, he is in his late 50’s, making it easier for me to justify this nonsense.

We have never been closer to each other than about 6-8 feet.  I know he is noticing me but never acknowledges me with a smile or a “hello”.  I take that as; “not that into me”, “married”, or “why is this woman creeping on me?”  All obvious deal breakers. 

bothering you

So, I suffer and stalk him with my eyes.  I have such a strong attraction to this man, I am waking up at night with him in my dreams – uggggg!

After seeing him the first time, on a Sunday, I have been going to the gym every chance I can to try to see him again.  This has produced three times of being (weirdly) together.  This last time, he made a lot of eye contact with me and has started to hover closer to my proximity.

For me, the energy is palpable.  It is hard to know what he is feeling…..

It is awkward and strange to approach someone at a gym.  It is a small family and everybody knows everybody.  No one knows me.  If he simply approaches me, everyone will see it and the rumors will fly.  This is a ridiculous dance and it could take months.

stalking

I cannot, will not make the first move.  It would be considered slutty and wildly inappropriate, especially if he is married or too young for me.  So, he must initiate or I am doomed to this painful limbo……

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