Everyone has rules that help them throughout their life. I have found that a rule I had for just men is also a very good rule for women friends.
The rule is; “If you are dating a man, have been intimate with him, and are exclusive with him (in a relationship) he should be introducing you to his friends.” If not, he is not in a relationship with you. I know that sounds silly but, it’s true – he is just using you for sex.
Well, it has come to my attention that women will do that very same thing to their female friends (excluding the sex). I am not sure if men do it to each other. Women will cubby-hole their female friends(?). I think it’s okay if it’s mutual.
It can be hurtful if one person wants more from the relationship. Like being someone’s movie buddy – yes, there is such a thing. Example; you’re invited to movies only but, would like to be included in dinners, happy hours, and other functions where you would meet more people to expand your social circle.
I enjoy people and want to meet new people all the time. It would be nice, for me, to make a new friend every single day. When I am going somewhere it has always been my habit to invite everyone I can think of. Most people like to try new adventures and step outside their box – it’s fun! The more, the merrier! I like to invite my married friends to typically single functions. They love it and get an opportunity to verify that they are not missing out on anything – HA!
When I have a female friend who doesn’t invite me to meet her other friends, I find it hurtful. I know that there are many personality types. I don’t think they mean to be hurtful, I just think they are different. It doesn’t make it any less hurtful to me. That is when I have to make a decision; “Do I continue to allow this person to hurt me or do I end this?”
The good thing about ending a one-sided friendship is that you can usually stay cordial in social settings. Don’t get me wrong, there is always a period of adjustment when a relationship is redefined. Many times the person hurting your feelings has no idea what they are doing. So, when you change the dynamic, they are confused and want it to stay the way it was. They are oblivious to your pain. This is true of any relationship change.
Every human being is responsible for their own happiness. If something or someone is not making you happy, you must change the dynamic. Life is hard – laugh and smile a lot! Also, include people, forgive, and be kind.