INTROVERT ?

1

I think I have always been an introvert.  I used to hide it and be ashamed – not sure why.  I am a middle child, maybe that has something to do with it.  

Mother said I was a quiet baby.  I am considered a quiet adult, if I can be considered an adult at all.

I remember two distinct times in my life where I was remarkably quiet. 

2

Once, when I was an infant.  We would go to Florida with my grandparents.  I am pretty sure that was considered our family vacation.  It seemed like we would be there a very long time and we were living in a house or cabin.  I remember sitting in some grass.  Then, I remember my mother scooping me up very quickly and giving me a soapy bath.  Apparently, I was covered in fire ants.  Mother was very quick and didn’t freak out at all.  I think she knew she would transfer her fear onto me.  So, she just worked very quickly to solve the problem.  I could feel her anxiety, but was not afraid because she was so outwardly calm.

3

Second time, when I was a toddler.  Mother liked to clean our back patio with a hose.  There must have been a party the night before.  I was just hanging around swishing my feet in the water.  I looked down and saw red liquid.  Without a word, we made a milli-second of eye contact.  She saw the blood, dropped the hose, grabbed me and I was in the kitchen sink.  Again, she was in “Stealth” mode.  No freak-out, just focused on what had to be done.  This time I sensed her anxiety more.  There was this strange sense of being “strong” for each other.

Obviously, I lived through these moments with no harm or scars.

I wonder sometimes if these small moments have a lifetime impact on us.  There was speed and strength in my Mother when she would handle these situations.  I have an older brother and two younger sisters so, there were many more times when she had to be strong in the face of adversity. 

Am I an introvert because I admired the demeanor of Mother?  Did these tiny fractions of my life make such an impact on my personality?  I certainly remember them.

Side Note:  No one else in my family is an introvert, not even my Mother.

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