I think I have always been an introvert. I used to hide it and be ashamed – not sure why. I am a middle child, maybe that has something to do with it.
Mother said I was a quiet baby. I am considered a quiet adult, if I can be considered an adult at all.
I remember two distinct times in my life where I was remarkably quiet.
Once, when I was an infant. We would go to Florida with my grandparents. I am pretty sure that was considered our family vacation. It seemed like we would be there a very long time and we were living in a house or cabin. I remember sitting in some grass. Then, I remember my mother scooping me up very quickly and giving me a soapy bath. Apparently, I was covered in fire ants. Mother was very quick and didn’t freak out at all. I think she knew she would transfer her fear onto me. So, she just worked very quickly to solve the problem. I could feel her anxiety, but was not afraid because she was so outwardly calm.
Second time, when I was a toddler. Mother liked to clean our back patio with a hose. There must have been a party the night before. I was just hanging around swishing my feet in the water. I looked down and saw red liquid. Without a word, we made a milli-second of eye contact. She saw the blood, dropped the hose, grabbed me and I was in the kitchen sink. Again, she was in “Stealth” mode. No freak-out, just focused on what had to be done. This time I sensed her anxiety more. There was this strange sense of being “strong” for each other.
Obviously, I lived through these moments with no harm or scars.
I wonder sometimes if these small moments have a lifetime impact on us. There was speed and strength in my Mother when she would handle these situations. I have an older brother and two younger sisters so, there were many more times when she had to be strong in the face of adversity.
Am I an introvert because I admired the demeanor of Mother? Did these tiny fractions of my life make such an impact on my personality? I certainly remember them.
Side Note: No one else in my family is an introvert, not even my Mother.